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Starting school can be difficult. As both a parent of a child with a disability and a teacher of children with disabilities, I understand the fears associated with your child’s entrance into the educational arena. Here are practical strategies to build independence skills for a child preparing for a 3-year-old program:

Self-Care Skills: • Practice putting on and taking off shoes, coats, and simple clothing items • Work on basic toileting routines, including communicating needs • Teach hand washing and drying • Practice eating with utensils and drinking from cups independently • Encourage self-feeding, even if messy.

All too often we are rushed for time or our child just doesn’t want to do something, so we do it for them. Unfortunately, this doesn’t teach independence. In regard to self-feeding, try to teach your child that finger foods are just what the name implies. It is okay to use your fingers. However, foods that require utensils, (spaghetti for example) are not finger foods. Too often we allow our children to use any means necessary to eat simply because we don’t want them to be hungry. Taking the time to teach these skills early in life will eliminate the need to fix habits that are hard to break.

Communication and Social Skills: • Develop ways to express basic needs (verbal, signs, pictures, or gestures) • Practice following simple one or two-step directions • Work on asking for help appropriately • Teach basic social interactions like greeting others • Practice turn-taking and waiting

Waiting can be a very difficult concept for children and can lead to frustration. Many children with disabilities have trouble self-regulating their emotions. Imagine how difficult school rules and routines are for a child who is beginning school for the first time. Now imagine how much more difficult this must be for a child who has never been taught what it means to wait, take turns, or share. Waiting and turn taking are fundamental rules in any classroom. Again, I know how we as parents want to jump in every time our child is having trouble being patient, but stepping in too quickly robs them of the chance to practice these essential skills.

It is always a good idea to start with very short wait times and then gradually increase. Visual timers, countdown songs, reciting abc’s, or simple phrases explaining why we wait can make the concept of waiting more concrete. Visual timers are a must have when teaching these important skills and I use them on a daily basis in my classroom. They make abstract concepts like “wait a few minutes” concrete for children who need to see time passing. I have watched students go from complete meltdowns to calmly watching the timer count down in no time at all. There are also many great books that can help our children learn how to self regulate while helping them understand and name the emotion they are experiencing at any given moment.

Mobility and Navigation: • Encourage independent walking and climbing stairs with support • Practice moving between activities and spaces • Teach basic safety awareness (staying with adults, recognizing boundaries) • Work on sitting independently during activities

As parents, we can be so rushed for time that we do everything on the go. Instead of teaching our children how to walk up and down stairs, we carry them so it will be faster for us and safer for them. In reality, teaching them how to properly hold the railings and put one foot in front of the other all while you are supporting them is the best thing you can do for them. Your child will gain confidence and will learn the safe way to climb stairs because you taught them. The key is being intentional about when to teach versus when to assist, rather than defaulting to one approach.

Remember, small moments of teaching, even when they slow us down, often contribute more to a child’s development than we realize in the moment. It’s about finding that balance between necessary efficiency and meaningful skill-building opportunities.

Classroom Readiness: • Practice sitting for short periods during structured activities • Work on transitioning between activities with visual or verbal cues • Encourage playing independently for brief periods • Practice following classroom routines at home (snack time, clean-up) • Use timers and visual schedules to build routine awareness

As parents, we all want our children to eat well. When we’re worried about nutrition especially if we’ve dealt with feeding challenges or “failure to thrive” our primary focus becomes getting food into our child, however that happens. I completely understand this. As both a parent and educator, I’ve been there.

But here’s something I’ve learned from my classroom experience: children who haven’t practiced sitting during meals often struggle significantly when they start school. While we think we’re helping by letting them eat on the go, we may inadvertently be setting them up for challenges later.

When children arrive at school having never been expected to sit and eat, the adjustment can be overwhelming. Some spend their first weeks refusing to eat at school entirely because seated eating feels completely foreign. What seems like a simple expectation to us adults can feel impossible to a child who’s never experienced it.

The good news is that this is fixable. You don’t need to change everything overnight. Start small, maybe one meal or snack time where sitting is expected. Use a timer for short periods at first, gradually increasing as your child gets comfortable. Make it positive with special placemats or letting them choose their seat. If your child has had feeding difficulties, talk with their teacher about strategies that worked at home. Schools want to partner with you to help your child succeed.

Remember, teaching seated eating isn’t about perfection. It’s about giving our children one more tool for success when they head off to school.

Adaptive Strategies: • Introduce any assistive devices early so they become familiar tools • Create visual supports for routines and expectations • Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps

We are all aware of the negative light that electronics can be seen in and some children are very interested in electronics while others might not be. We live in a world where we must learn how to operate a computer or a smart phone to perform many of our daily routines. Because of this, teaching your child how to navigate a tablet or a computer is imperative. There are always pros and cons to electronics but with structure and schedules, your child can learn many important skills.

Some children with disabilities may require an assistive device for communication in the classroom while others may require assistive devices to get around in the classroom. Early exposure to technology can actually benefit children who may later need assistive devices.

Technology skills aren’t optional anymore, and structured early exposure can actually prepare children for success, whether they need assistive devices or just everyday digital literacy. The key is recognizing when electronics use is becoming problematic versus beneficial.

Always remember to celebrate small victories to build confidence. The key is starting early, being consistent, and adapting approaches to match your child’s specific abilities and learning style. I know how hard it can be to step back and let our children struggle through tasks we could easily do for them. It feels like love to help, and it is but sometimes the most loving thing we can do is believe in their ability to figure it out. When we give them chances to practice independence, we’re not just teaching skills, we’re showing them we believe they’re capable.

I hope I was able to touch on a few ideas that may help with this very important milestone: the transition from home to school.