Self-Talk and Parallel-Talk

As parents, we’re constantly looking for ways to support our children’s development, but sometimes the most effective strategies are hiding in plain sight. If you have a child who is just beginning to communicate or struggling with language development, you might be wondering how you can help without adding another task to your already busy day. The good news? You’re probably already doing some of the most powerful language-building activities without even realizing it.

Just like we model behavior for our children, we also need to model “communication.”

Self-talk and parallel-talk are language stimulation strategies that can play a significant role in helping emergent communicators develop language and communication abilities.

Self-talk and parallel-talk help children learn to participate in back and forth conversations, gain expressive and receptive vocabulary, and use language for communication. The great thing about self-talk and parallel-talk is that it is easy to do, your child doesn’t have to respond for it to be beneficial, and you are probably already doing it to some degree.

SELF-TALK: This is when we talk out loud and describe what we are doing, seeing, feeling, or hearing. It is as simple as describing everything you are doing as you prepare a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for your child. All you need to do is give a verbal play by play of what you are doing in child-friendly words. You simply describe your own actions when children are nearby or in listening distance. Remember, your child does not have to respond.

You might be thinking, I just can’t find the time to help my child with communication. We all know how busy parents are but self-talk does not add more to your already full plate. It is a way to integrate communication into your everyday actions or the actions you are already doing.

Here are some examples:

During Breakfast:

“I am pouring cereal in my bowl.”

“I am going to add milk to the bowl.”

“I am pouring milk into my bowl of cereal.”

During Clean Up:

“I am going to clean up my area after eating.”

“I am placing my bowl in the sink.”

“I am placing my trash in the garbage can.”

During Play time:

“I am playing with the cars.”

“I like the blue car.”

“I put the car on the race track.”

PARALLEL-TALK: Parallel talk is when we use child friendly words to talk out loud about what the child is doing, hearing, seeing, or feeling. It’s like the announcers you see commentating a basketball game but instead you are the commentator for your child. You describe what your child is doing in your own words.

Here are some examples:

During breakfast:

“You are drinking orange juice.”

“You are using a fork to eat your scrambled eggs.”

“I like how you are sitting in your chair.”

During play time:

“You are building a tower with your blocks.”

“I like how you are using red and blue blocks to build the tower.”

“You are all done playing. You are placing the blocks back in the box.”

These are just a few examples of self-talk and parallel talk and how you can increase your child’s communication skills during day to day activities. Both self-talk and parallel talk are two communication strategies that help provide more exposure to language. When children are exposed to language, they have a greater chance of learning and using new words.

As a parent, I know we want to do everything possible to help our children with communication. There are endless times during the day or evening when we can model communication. Self-talk and parallel-talk are two strategies that can help make learning communication a piece of cake.

The beauty of these approaches lies in their simplicity and flexibility. They work whether your child is just starting to babble, speaking their first words, or expanding their vocabulary. Remember, every moment of narration you provide is giving your child valuable exposure to language patterns, vocabulary, and the natural rhythm of conversation. Start small, be consistent, and watch how these simple techniques can make a meaningful difference in your child’s communication journey.